Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE LINE GRAPH PROVIDE DETAILS ABOUT THE NUMBER OF EMPLOYMENTS IN FOUR SECTORS SUCH AS MANUFACTURING , RETAIL ,AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE OF THE ECONOMY IN THE US FROM 1960 TO 2020.
ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH, IT IS CLEARLY SEEN THAT IN THE HEALTHCARE SECTION THE NUMBERS OF JOBS WERE INCREASED OVER THE YEAR FROM THE BEGINNING IT SHOWS A CONSTANT GROWTH IN ECONOMY ALSO . THERE WERE 3 MILLIONS JOBS AVAILABLE IN 1960 AND AT THE YEAR 2020 ROUGHLY 15.5 MILLIONS JOBS WERE AVAILABLE . SAME THIS HAPPENED IN RETAIL FIELD THE NUMBER OF JOB WERE INCREASED THROUGHT THE YEARS.
CAREER IN AGRICULTURE FIELD IS DECREASED BY THE YEARS FROM THE BEGINNING THERE WERE SHOWN A DECLINED IN FARM RELATED WORK. HOWEVER, IN MANUFACTURING SECTOR IN 1960 THERE WERE 15 MILLION WORKERS WORK . THEN IN THAT 30 YEARS IN 1990 THAT RATIO INCREASED TO 20 MILLION PEOPLE . AND FROM 1990 TO 2020 THERE WERE SHOWN A DRAMETICALLY DECREASED IN MANUFACTURE RELATED WORK FROM 20 MILLIONS OF PEOPLE TO AROUND 13 MILLION PEOPLE.
OVERALL, THERE WERE MANY FLCUATION SHOWN IN ECONOMY OF US ,[redacted phone].
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly confusing, and the overall summary is too brief to effectively synthesise the main trends. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more explicit to better highlight the relative changes over the 60-year period. To improve, ensure that data points are used more precisely and that the overview provides a clearer summary of the most significant shifts observed in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'Same this happened in retail field' and 'Then in that 30 years'. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly when transitioning between the different sectors. The use of referencing is also limited, which makes the flow feel somewhat repetitive. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more naturally, rather than relying on simple transitions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'number of employments' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels', and 'drametically decreased' instead of 'dramatic decrease'. The repetition of basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' limits the sophistication of the report. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the numbers of jobs were increased'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('there were 15 million workers work'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with irregular spacing around commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and tense consistency would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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