Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The above line graph exhibits the total number of jobs in four fields-Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US between 1960 to 2020 in millions
Overall, it is clearly visible that number of jobs in the manufacturing sector was at peak during the starting period later it fell slightly whereas agriculture was with the least. Therefore, healthcare and retail reached the heights in 2020.
In 1960, the manufacturing industry has the highest number of jobs with 15 million reaching to 20 in 1980 before falling to 17 million in 2000
And then at last dropped at 13 million in 2020. It showed a dramatical shift of jobs while the retail sector faced various changes starting from 1960 with around 6 million jobs then went up to 10 million and in 2000 it increased to 15 million before reaching 17 million in 2020
The agriculture department went through harsh situations. It was with 6 million jobs in 1960 than decreased to 3 million and in 2020 it fell to 2 million. It showed the imbalance of jobs in this sector however the sector of healthcare went from 3 million jobs to highest at 16 million and became the sector with most employment
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided data to support your descriptions. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the shift in dominance from manufacturing to healthcare. However, the response lacks a clear, cohesive structure. The overview is somewhat brief and could be more analytical by highlighting the most significant trends rather than just listing them. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, and the conclusion is integrated into the final paragraph rather than being a distinct part of the summary. To improve, ensure you clearly separate your overview from the detailed body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is generally coherent, but the paragraphing is problematic. You have grouped the information into three paragraphs, but the transitions between them are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'and' to join sentences. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to guide the reader through the data comparisons. For example, using words like 'conversely', 'meanwhile', or 'in contrast' would help establish a better flow between the contrasting trends of the manufacturing and healthcare sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe the trends, such as 'fell slightly', 'reached the heights', and 'dramatical shift'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'dramatical' should be 'dramatic', and 'agriculture department' is not the correct term for an economic sector. Furthermore, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'agriculture was with the least'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word forms are correct.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder readability. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'number of jobs'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'manufacturing industry has the highest' instead of 'had'), and run-on sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the lack of commas to separate clauses. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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