Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the US in four different economy sectors, between years 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing sector rose gradually before falling out after 1980. On the other hand, retail and healthcare sectors followed the same increasing trend over the period. While agriculture sector experienced a steady decline.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector rose from 15 million in year 1960 to 20 million in year 1980 which showed the highest employment rate. After that, it gradually decreased to 17 million in 2000 and fell out to 13 million in 2020. Secondly, the retail and healthcare sectors, experienced increasing trend, rose from 6 million and 2 million respectively in year 1960 and reached to 10 million and 5 million in that order and peeked at 16 million in 2020, becoming the second highest number of jobs. In contrast, agriculture sector witnessed decreasing throughout the period. Starting from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and then declined to 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the rise and fall of manufacturing and the steady decline of agriculture. However, the reporting of data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For example, you state that retail and healthcare 'peeked at 16 million in 2020', but the graph shows these as separate lines, and the combined total or individual values are not clearly distinguished. Additionally, the phrase 'falling out' is not appropriate for describing a decline in employment numbers. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'falling out after 1980' and 'followed the same increasing trend'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is clear, but the internal cohesion within the second body paragraph is slightly mechanical. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the logical progression could be smoother with more varied linking phrases.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'steady decline', and 'employment rate'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'falling out' is not a standard way to describe a decrease in statistics, and 'peeked' is a misspelling of 'peaked'. The phrase 'in that order' is used somewhat awkwardly when describing the retail and healthcare sectors. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring that vocabulary is used in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'While agriculture sector experienced a steady decline' (missing an article) and 'witnessed decreasing' (should be 'a decrease'). You also have issues with preposition usage, such as 'in year 1960' instead of 'in 1960'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences would help raise this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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