Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate information about jobs in US between 1960 to 2020 in four sectors of the economy.
These four sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing department was higher. Healthcare department had a sudden rose in their number of jobs. Retail and Agriculture sectors had 5 million jobs in year 1960 but later on Retail jobs increased moreover Agriculture jobs fall down.
In 1960 Manufacturing department had 15 million jobs. In year 1980 further increase in their jobs to 20 million. This number was starts declining and in 2000 jobs were 16 million moreover finally 13 million jobs in 2020. In Contrast, Healthcare jobs in 1960 were only 2 million, in 1980 jobs were 5 million and there had a continues increased in number of jobs until 2020 jobs were 15.5 million.
Additionally, In 1960 both Retail and Agriculture sectors had 5 million jobs. In 1980 Retail jobs were increased to 10 million but Agriculture jobs were decreased to 3 million. However in the end in 2020 Retail jobs were 15.5 million and agriculture jobs were 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the overall trends in the introduction or conclusion. While you mention that manufacturing was higher, the comparison could be more analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure that the 'main features' are highlighted more distinctly in an overview paragraph, rather than just listing data points. The data is generally accurate, but ensure you distinguish between the sectors clearly throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast', 'Additionally', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is generally clear, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is mostly clear, though some sentences feel like a list of figures rather than a cohesive analysis of the trends. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'declining', 'increased', and 'sectors'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'sudden rose' (should be 'sudden rise') and 'continues increased' (should be 'continuous increase'). The vocabulary is functional but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure that word forms (nouns vs. verbs) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('This number was starts declining') and incorrect preposition usage ('jobs in US'). Additionally, there are minor errors with articles and tense consistency. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic verb forms and ensuring that sentence structures are grammatically sound, particularly when describing trends over time.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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