Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs across four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the data reveals that manufacturing was the most demanding job in the initial, before falling throughout the period, while healthcare started at the lowest, despite ending up being the most demanding job sector. However, agriculture demonstrated drop throughout the period.

In 1960, manufacturing accounted for around 15 million jobs, with peaking 20 million in 1980, before declining to approximately 13 million by 2020, while the opposite trend followed by healthcare which started at around 2 million job, ending at around 16 million jobs, with a significant rise.

Retail and agriculture recorded approximately 6 million jobs for each sector, while both followed an opposite trend, with retail crossed 15 million jobs in 2020, agriculture dropped considerably to around 4 million in 1980, before falling to around 2 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of manufacturing and agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is present but slightly awkward in phrasing, such as 'most demanding job in the initial'. While the key features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more integrated. The data points are generally accurate, but the description of trends lacks the precision expected for a higher band. For instance, describing the trends as 'opposite' is a good start, but the report would benefit from more nuanced comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals to better highlight the shifts in the US economy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the use of 'while' is frequent, which makes the flow feel a bit predictable. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are slightly abrupt, such as the jump between the overview and the first body paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is more precise would help the text flow more naturally and improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. The phrase 'most demanding job' is used twice in the overview, which is not the most natural collocation for describing employment sectors; 'largest employment sector' would be more appropriate. There are also some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the opposite trend followed by healthcare', which is grammatically awkward. While the student successfully uses terms like 'accounted for', 'declining', and 'considerably', the range is not wide enough to demonstrate the flexibility required for a higher band. Expanding the vocabulary to include more precise economic terminology would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. For example, 'manufacturing was the most demanding job in the initial' is missing a noun (e.g., 'initial period'). The phrase 'with peaking 20 million' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'peaking at 20 million'. Additionally, 'retail crossed 15 million jobs' is slightly unnatural. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of participial phrases would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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