Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector consists of highest number of jobs, and the healthcare sector contain least number of jobs in 1960. But with the passage of time, we see a decline in jobs of manufacturing sector from 15 million to approximately 12 million. But in healthcare sector, jobs are continuously increases with no decline and reach from approximately 3 million to 15 million.
Furthermore, Agriculture and retail sector also came in between healthcare and manufacturing sector. In the retail sector there is boom increase in jobs from 1960 to 2000. But after 2000, there is an incremental increase in it till 2020. Moreover, when we see agriculture sector, there is continuous decline seems from approximately 6 million to 2 million.
Overall, in 1960 manufacturing sector is at the top in number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, but in 2020 healthcare and retail sector are at top in terms of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the retail sector as having a 'boom increase' is vague, and the comparison between sectors could be more precise. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the overall shift in the US economy. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are used more effectively to support the trends described, rather than just stating general movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Overall' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph. Referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the description of individual sectors and the overall summary could be smoother. The structure is sufficient for the task, but more varied cohesive links would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends and sectors clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'incremental increase' and 'passage of time', though these are not always used in the most natural way. Some word choices are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'sector' and 'number of jobs'. There are minor inaccuracies in collocation, such as 'boom increase', which slightly detracts from the precision of the report. Expanding the range of verbs and adjectives used to describe trends would enhance the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the writing. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing sector consists of', 'healthcare sector contain', 'jobs are continuously increases') and missing articles ('in healthcare sector'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on consistent verb tense usage and ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, as well as the correct application of articles.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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