Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate the economic position of US in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare. the time period is only 60 years from 1960 to 2020. The numerical values of jobs on graph shown in millions.

The manufacturing sector in the economy of US, is overall go down after some fluctuation from 1960 to 2020. Like in 1980, the number of jobs reach to 20 millions from 15 millions, and it is the peak time of this sector. In agricultural sector, jobs will decline through out the 60 years. but from 1980 to 2000 there were constant jobs in only agricultural sector.

If we go through retail sector, all in all this trend move elevate from 1960 to 2020. there is a slightly increase in jobs at retail sector. steep change occur in jobs at healthcare sector in the US, like in 1960 there was only approximately 2 million jobs but after 60 years it become towering at around 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector as 'overall go down' is inaccurate, as the graph shows it ending at a similar level to where it started after a peak. The data points mentioned are occasionally imprecise or misread, such as the claim that the retail sector shows a 'slightly increase' when the trend is quite steady. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more accurate data reporting and provide a clearer overview of the most significant changes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes awkward, such as 'If we go through retail sector' or 'all in all this trend move elevate'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, and the transition between sentences lacks natural flow. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the internal cohesion needs to be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this sector') is clear and accurate throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'go down', 'move', and 'become', which are repetitive. There are also issues with word formation and collocation, such as 'slightly increase' (should be 'slight increase') and 'towering at' (which is not a standard way to describe numerical data). To improve, you should incorporate more academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plateau', or 'surge', and ensure that you use adjectives and adverbs correctly to describe the degree of change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph illustrate'), missing articles ('in agricultural sector'), and tense inconsistencies ('jobs will decline' instead of 'declined'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'like in 1960 there was only approximately 2 million jobs but after 60 years it become towering'. You need to focus on basic accuracy, particularly with verb tenses and pluralisation, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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