Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is crystal clear that health care and retail sector had increased number of jobs every year whereas number of jobs had decreased in manufacturing and healthcare sector.
To begin with,manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1960 (15) while healthcare sector had only availability of 3 jobs. In 1980 jobs in manufacturing sector were increased to 20 while healthcare sector still have 5 jobs. Jobs remain almost constant in 2000, but in 2020 jobs in manufacturing sector were decreased to 12 only whereas healthcare sector had more than 15 jobs in 2020.
Probing further, agriculture and retail sector had same number of jobs in 1960 ( 6 jobs ).In 1980 agriculture sector had 3 jobs left whereas retail sectod had 10 jobs now. Initially in 2020 jobs in retail sector were 15 while jobs are constant in agriculture sector. In last year retail sector met with little growth 16 jobs but agriculture sector still have same number of jobs compared to 1980.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends, but there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector decreased in 1980, whereas the graph shows an increase. Furthermore, you mention that the healthcare sector decreased, which contradicts the visual data showing a clear upward trend. The overview is also contradictory, as you claim the healthcare sector decreased while simultaneously noting it had an increased number of jobs. To improve, ensure that your summary of trends aligns precisely with the data provided in the graph. You have selected key features, but the lack of accuracy in reporting these figures prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'Probing further' to signal new points. However, the logical flow is occasionally hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. Additionally, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the vague use of 'In last year' to refer to the end of the period. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas is supported by accurate data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and limited in range. Phrases like 'number of jobs' are used frequently, and there are some errors in word choice, such as 'availability of 3 jobs' and 'met with little growth'. You attempt to use some sector-specific terminology, but the lack of precision in describing trends (e.g., 'jobs are constant') limits the score. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('retail sector had increased number of jobs', 'healthcare sector still have 5 jobs') and tense inconsistencies ('jobs in manufacturing sector were increased'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around parentheses. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity of your writing. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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