Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
THE GRAPH DELINEATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR DIFFERENT SECTORS IN THE US FROM 1960 TO 2020.
EVIDENTLY, JOBS IN RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SECTORS EXPERIENCED CONSIDERABLE GROWTH THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD. WHEREAS, TRAJECTORIES MANUFACTURING AND AGRICULTURE JOBS DISPLAYED DRASTIC DECREASE.
TO BE SPECIFIC, JOBS RELATED TO MANUFACTURING DOMAIN WERE IN MAJORITY INITIALLY AT 15 MILLION JOBS, PEAKING AT 20 MILLION JOBS. AFTERWARDS, THERE WAS A GRADUAL DECREASE AND REGISTERED FOR 13 MILLION JOBS IN 2020.
MEANWHILE, THE DATA FOR BOTH AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL STARTED AT 6 MILLION JOBS. BUT THE LINES DIVEREGED THEREAFTER AND EMPLOYMENT IN AGRICULTURE SHOWCASED SLIGHT DOWNFALL WITH JUST BELOW 5 MILLION JOBS IN 1980.WHILE RETAIL FIELD REPRESENTED WITH A SHARP RISE AT AROUND 15 MILLION JOBS IN 2020.
TALKING ABOUT THE STATISTICS FOR HEALTHCARE JOB OPPRTUNITIES, IT WAS THE LEAST PREFERED SECTOR AMONG ALL THE CATEGORIES. RECORDS REFLECTED DRAMATIC RISE THROUGHOUT THE TIMEFRAME, CLIMBING TO 16 MILLION JOBS. THE ASPECTS FOR FARMING JOBS SAW A MODERATE DECLINE TILL 1980 AND FIGURES REMAINED PLATUED, HOVERING BELOW 3 MILLION JOBS.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention the growth and decline, you could improve by highlighting the most significant shift, such as the crossover between sectors. The data reporting is generally accurate, though there are some minor inconsistencies in the figures cited compared to the visual data. Overall, the response provides a clear summary of the main features as required by the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'meanwhile' and 'to be specific', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing sectors (retail and healthcare) more distinctly to enhance the flow of comparisons. Referencing is mostly clear, though some sentence structures are slightly disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'delineates', 'trajectories', 'diverged', and 'plateaued'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'represented with a sharp rise' and 'aspects for farming jobs', which sound slightly unnatural. Additionally, there are some spelling errors, such as 'opprtunities' and 'prefered'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in manufacturing domain'), incorrect preposition usage, and issues with subject-verb agreement ('trajectories manufacturing... displayed'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after periods. These errors occur frequently but do not significantly impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on improving article usage and ensuring consistent sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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