Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line chart provides details of the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing jobs in millions in 1960 was. and Healthcare was lower.

To begin with, in 1960, the number of Healthcare employment was between 0 to 5. while, Retail and agriculture's was same at more than 5. moreover, where agriculture Occupation was fall slightly in 1980, Retail's position was rose exact on 10. Furthermore, Manufacturing work was on 20 from 15 in remain year.

Afterwards, in 2000, Agriculture does not move a bit since 1980. While, Healthcare position rose genuanly above 10. And, retail jobs ware at 15 in the same year. Lastly, in 2020, healthcare and retail ware remain same position at 15. Whereas, manufacturing work fall slightly between 10 and 15. finally, Agriculture post was still on the lowest position among them at

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. The overview is incomplete and contains fragmented sentences, such as 'manufacturing jobs in millions in 1960 was. and Healthcare was lower.' The report lacks a clear selection of main features and fails to make meaningful comparisons. Many data points are described inaccurately or are missing entirely, such as the incomplete final sentence. The response does not adequately highlight the trends or significant changes over the 60-year period, resulting in a failure to fully address the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is severely hampered by poor sentence structure and confusing transitions. While some cohesive devices like 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Afterwards' are used, they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends being described. The lack of clarity in the relationships between the data points and the overall structure prevents the response from achieving a higher level of coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'agriculture Occupation was fall slightly' and 'retail jobs ware at 15'. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'position was rose' instead of 'rose to'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision, and the persistent errors in word formation and usage significantly impede the clarity of the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often distort meaning. There is a lack of control over basic sentence structures, with many sentences being fragmented or ungrammatical, such as 'Agriculture does not move a bit since 1980.' Verb tense usage is inconsistent, and there are frequent errors with articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail jobs ware'). While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are almost always faulty. The high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read and understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.