Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

THE GRAPH DELINEATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR DIFFERENT SECTORS IN THE US FROM 1960 TO 2020.

EVIDENTLY, JOBS IN THE RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SECTORS EXPERIENCED CONSIDERABLE GROWTH THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD. WHEREAS, TRAJECTORIES MANUFACTURING AND AGRICULTURE JOBS DISPLAYED DRASTIC DECREASE.

TO BE SPECIFIC, JOBS RELATED TO MANUFACTURING DOMAIN WERE IN MAJORITY INITIALLY AT 15 MILLION JOBS, PEAKING AT 20 MILLION JOBS. AFTERWARDS, THERE WAS A GRADUAL DECREASE AND REGISTERED FOR 13 MILLION JOBS IN 2020.

MEANWHILE, THE DATA FOR BOTH AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL STARTED AT 6 MILLION JOBS. BUT THE LINES DIVEREGED THEREAFTER AND EMPLOYMENT IN AGRICULTURE SHOWCASED SLIGHT DOWNFALL WITH JUST BELOW 5 MILLION JOBS IN 1980. WHILE RETAIL FIELD REPRESENTED WITH A SHARP RISE AT AROUND 15 MILLION JOBS IN 2020.

TALKING ABOUT THE STATISTICS FOR HEALTHCARE JOB OPPRTUNITIES, IT WAS THE LEAST PREFERED SECTOR AMONG ALL THE CATEGORIES. RECORDS REFLECTED DRAMATIC RISE THROUGHOUT THE TIMEFRAME, CLIMBING TO 16 MILLION JOBS. THE ASPECTS FOR FARMING JOBS SAW A MODERATE DECLINE TILL 1980 AND FIGURES REMAINED PLATUED, HOVERING BELOW 3 MILLION JOBS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the divergence between agriculture and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you mention manufacturing peaked at 20 million, but the graph shows it peaking at 20 million in 1980, which is accurate, yet your description of the starting point and the 2020 figure lacks precision. Additionally, the statement that healthcare was the 'least preferred' is slightly informal in tone. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are cited with absolute accuracy and avoid subjective language like 'preferred'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile', 'to be specific', and 'whereas' to connect ideas. However, the use of some transitions is slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with paragraph structure—specifically, the final paragraph feels a bit disjointed as it mixes information about healthcare and farming. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence. The use of referencing is generally clear, but could be more varied to improve the flow of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'delineates', 'trajectories', 'diverged', and 'plateaued'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'manufacturing domain' or 'aspects for farming jobs', which sound a bit awkward. Additionally, there are a few spelling errors, such as 'OPPRTUNITIES' and 'PLATUED'. While these do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and ensure consistent accuracy in spelling and word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing domain'), incorrect preposition usage ('registered for 13 million'), and sentence fragments ('Whereas, trajectories manufacturing...'). Furthermore, the use of all-caps is inappropriate for an IELTS exam and should be avoided. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these minor grammatical slips limits your score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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