Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the data in millions about the numbers of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the America between 1960 to 2020, over a 60 year period.
Overall, manufacturing and agriculture showed downward trend with some fluctuations, while retail and healthcare sectors showed upward trend.
In 1960, jobs in the manufacturing were considerably high with the figures of 15 million jobs, followed by the same numbers of jobs at around 6 million in retail and agriculture, and approximately 3 million jobs in healthcare sector.
In 1980, the manufacturing jobs were peaked at 20 million, which dramatically declined at around 13 million by the end of period. The jobs in agriculture dropped at around 3 million in 1980 and plateaued till 2000 and slightly drooped by the end of period. The healthcare and retail sectors were started with nearly 3 millions and 6 millions jobs and reached more than 15 millions of jobs by the end of 2020 with minor fluctuations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have provided a clear overview and supported it with relevant data points. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows the peak occurred in 1980 at approximately 20 million, which is accurate, yet your description of the decline is slightly imprecise. Additionally, the statement that agriculture 'plateaued till 2000' is a good observation, but ensure that all figures cited align precisely with the visual data to reach a higher band. Overall, the main features are well-selected and the comparison between sectors is clear.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the general trends to specific data points. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In 1960' and 'In 1980' to structure the response. However, the use of linking words is somewhat repetitive, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more explicitly stated, rather than relying solely on time markers.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'dramatically declined', and 'plateaued'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the figures of 15 million jobs' (should be 'a figure of') and 'the healthcare and retail sectors were started' (passive voice is unnecessary here). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. Focusing on more natural collocations and avoiding awkward phrasing will help improve your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use some complex sentences, there are several grammatical errors that persist. Examples include 'illustrates the data in millions about the numbers of jobs' (awkward preposition use), 'manufacturing and agriculture showed downward trend' (missing article 'a'), and 'the healthcare and retail sectors were started' (incorrect tense/voice). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that passive constructions are used only when necessary.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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