Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data in millions about the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020, over a 60 year period.

Overall, manufacturing and agriculture showed a downward trend with some fluctuations, while retail and healthcare sectors showed an upward trend.

In 1960, jobs in manufacturing were considerably high with the figures of 15 million jobs, followed by the same numbers of jobs at around 6 million in retail and agriculture, and approximately 3 million jobs in the healthcare sector.

In 1980, the manufacturing jobs peaked at 20 million, which dramatically declined to around 13 million by the end of the period. The jobs in agriculture dropped to around 3 million in 1980 and plateaued till 2000 and slightly dropped by the end of period. The healthcare and retail sectors started with nearly 3 million and 6 million jobs and reached more than 15 million of jobs by the end of 2020 with minor fluctuations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends effectively. You successfully highlighted the peak in manufacturing and the contrasting growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview could be more precise; while you mention 'fluctuations', the data for 1960 is slightly inaccurate based on the graph (e.g., manufacturing was closer to 17 million, not 15). Additionally, the description of the 1980-2020 period for agriculture is a bit vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater accuracy and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just descriptive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices like 'In 1960' and 'In 1980' to structure the timeline, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, though some sentences feel slightly repetitive in their structure. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to a coherent response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'plateaued', and 'fluctuations' appropriately. There are some minor issues with collocation and phrasing, such as 'considerably high with the figures of' and 'more than 15 million of jobs', which sound slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on more precise ways to describe data trends and avoid redundant prepositions. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the grammar is generally accurate and does not impede communication, there are some minor errors, such as 'between 1960 to 2020' (should be 'between 1960 and 2020') and 'by the end of period' (missing an article). You have good control over basic structures, but the range of complex grammatical forms is somewhat limited. Increasing the variety of sentence structures would help elevate your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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