Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE BELOW GIVEN LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE DATA OF THE NUMBER OF THE JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE UNITED STATES ECONOMY FROM 1960 TO 2020.

OVERALL, IT IS CLEAR THAT MANUFACTURING IS THE LEADING THE CHART, WHEREAS THE RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE WAS STARTED WITH LOWER PHASE BUT CLIMBED HIGH AND BEAT THE MANUFACTURING.

LOOKING AT FIRST, THE MANUFACTURING SECTOR WAS STARTED WITH 15 MILLIONS JOB IN 1960 AND AFTERTHAT IT CLIMBED TO 20 MILLIONS IN 1980, BUT SUDDENLY IT WAS CONTINUOUSLY DROPPING ITS HIKE AND AT THE END OF 2020 ITS WAS SCORING IN BETWEEN 15 TO 10 MILLIONS. ANOTHER PROSPECT WAS SEEN IN THE AGRICULTURE SECTOR WHICH WAS STARTED WITH LOWER NUMBER FROM 5 MILLION BUT IT WAS CONSTANTLY DROPPING ITS NUMBER OF JOBS EVERY 20 YEARS AND BY THE 2020 IT WAS CAME TO NEARLY ZERO.

LOOKING AT SECOND FUNDAMENTAL GRAPH, RETAIL IS THE ONE WHICH WAS STARTED WITH LOWER NUMBER OF JOBS APPLICANT FROM 5 MILLIONS BUT DURING THE PASSING YEARS IT WAS INCREASED AND IN 2000 IT WAS TOUCH THE 15 MILLIONS NUMBER OF JOBS AND BY 2020 ITS WAS LITTLE INCREASED. HOWEVER, THE MAIN GAME CHANGER WAS THE HEALTHCARE, THIS SECTOR IN US WAS DRAMATICALLY ALWAYS LOWER FORM 1960 AND IT WAS STARTED FROM BELOW 5 MILLIONS AND BY THE PASSING YEARS IT WAS INCREASED DRASTICALLY, IN 2000 ITS WAS TOUCHED TO 10 MILLIONS AND AT THE END OF 2020 IT WAS THE SAME AS RETAIL NUMBER JUST ABOVE THE 15 MILLIONS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, it claims retail and healthcare 'beat' manufacturing, which is not fully supported by the data provided. The description of trends is generally clear, but some figures are imprecise (e.g., 'between 15 to 10 millions'). To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant overall trends without making sweeping claims that the data does not fully substantiate. The response successfully identifies the main features as required by the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'Looking at first' and 'Looking at second fundamental graph'. These phrases are not standard academic transitions. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical progression of ideas rather than just listing data points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'dropping its hike', 'lower phase', and 'jobs applicant'. The repetition of basic verbs like 'started' and 'increased' limits the range. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and occasional errors in word formation prevent a higher score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid using informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'was started', 'it was came'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'retail and healthcare was'), and unnecessary articles (e.g., 'the number of the jobs'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of passive voice and past tense, and proofread carefully to eliminate errors in article usage and pluralisation.

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