Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between the period of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare sectors experienced a significant rise throughout the period of 1960 to 2020. However, manufacturing sector declined steadily after 1980, while agriculture sector dropped gradually over the period.
Looking first at manufacturing and agriculture sectors, manufacturing sector increased significantly in 1980 and jobs grew to 16 million. However, after 1980, it dropped steadily to 13 million jobs. Whereas, agriculture sector decreased jobs declined from 6 million to 2 million between the period of 1960–2020.
Turning to retail and healthcare sectors, both experienced significant increased over the period of 1960–2020. Both followed upward trend and accounted for 16 million jobs.
Consequently, retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period. Whereas, manufacturing sector declined after 1980. However, agriculture sector experienced significant decline from 1960–2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating that retail and healthcare 'accounted for 16 million jobs' is vague, as it does not specify if this was the final figure in 2020 or a peak. The conclusion paragraph essentially repeats information already provided in the overview and body paragraphs without adding new insight or synthesis. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are clearly linked to specific years and avoid redundant summary statements at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices such as 'Looking first at', 'Turning to', and 'However' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'Whereas' and 'However' to start sentences. The final paragraph is redundant and does not contribute to the logical flow of the essay, acting more as a summary of previous points rather than a cohesive conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. The student relies on basic descriptors like 'significant rise', 'dropped gradually', and 'increased significantly'. There is some repetition of these phrases throughout the text. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, there is little evidence of less common lexical items or precise collocations that would demonstrate a higher level of control. To improve, try to vary the verbs and adjectives used to describe trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'manufacturing sector increased significantly' lacks an article ('the'), and 'significant increased' is a word-form error (should be 'increase'). There are also issues with sentence fragments and awkward phrasing, such as 'agriculture sector decreased jobs declined'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. More attention to articles and consistent verb forms is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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