Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between the period of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the retail and healthcare sectors experienced a significant rise throughout the period of 1960 to 2020. However, the manufacturing sector declined steadily after 1980, while the agriculture sector dropped gradually over the period.
Looking first at the manufacturing and agriculture sectors, the manufacturing sector increased significantly in 1980 and jobs grew to 16 million. However, after 1980, it dropped steadily to 13 million jobs. Whereas, the agriculture sector decreased jobs declined from 6 million to 2 million between the period of 1960–2020.
Turning to the retail and healthcare sectors, both experienced significant increase over the period of 1960–2020. Both followed upward trend and accounted for 16 million jobs.
Consequently, the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period. Whereas, the manufacturing sector declined after 1980. However, agriculture sector experienced substantial decline from 1960–2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the key trends for all four sectors. You successfully highlight the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For example, stating that retail and healthcare 'accounted for 16 million jobs' is vague, as it does not specify if this was the final figure in 2020 or a shared total. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly confusing, as you mention it increased in 1980 but do not clearly contrast the starting point with the end point. To improve, ensure that specific data points are clearly linked to the years provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Looking first at', 'Turning to', and 'Consequently' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are used repetitively or mechanically, such as starting multiple sentences with 'However' or 'Whereas'. The final paragraph is somewhat redundant, as it repeats information already provided in the overview and body paragraphs without adding new analytical value. Improving the variety of linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph introduces distinct, non-repetitive information would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'experienced a significant rise', 'declined steadily', and 'upward trend'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For instance, 'agriculture sector decreased jobs declined' is grammatically awkward and redundant. You also rely on a limited set of verbs to describe trends. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your word combinations are natural and accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'between the period of 1960 and 2020' is slightly redundant; 'between 1960 and 2020' or 'during the period 1960-2020' would be more natural. You also have issues with sentence fragments and awkward phrasing, such as 'Both followed upward trend'. There are occasional errors in article usage and prepositional phrases. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining the structure of your complex sentences will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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