Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between the period of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the retail and healthcare sectors experienced a significant rise throughout the period of 1960 to 2020. However, the manufacturing sector declined steadily after 1980, while the agriculture sector dropped gradually over the period.
Looking first at the manufacturing and agriculture sectors, the manufacturing sector increased significantly in 1980 and jobs grew to 16 million. However, after 1980, it dropped steadily to 13 million jobs. However, the agriculture sector jobs declined from 6 million to 2 million between the period of 1960–2020.
Turning to the retail and healthcare sectors, both experienced a significant increase over the period of 1960–2020. Both followed an upward trend and accounted for 16 million jobs.
Consequently, the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period. Although, the manufacturing sector declined after 1980. However, the agriculture sector experienced a substantial decline from 1960–2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the 1980 turning point for manufacturing, the description of the retail and healthcare sectors is vague, stating they both reached 16 million without specifying the starting points or the distinct growth trajectories. To reach a higher band, ensure you provide more specific data points (e.g., the starting values in 1960) and make more precise comparisons between the sectors rather than just listing them. The final paragraph is largely repetitive and does not add new information, which limits the development of the response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear overall progression. You use some cohesive devices like 'Looking first at' and 'Turning to', which help guide the reader. However, the use of linking words is sometimes repetitive or slightly awkward, such as starting three consecutive sentences in the third paragraph with 'However'. Additionally, the final paragraph feels redundant as it restates information already provided in the overview and body paragraphs without adding value. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring each paragraph serves a distinct purpose would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'experienced a significant rise', and 'upward trend'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'significant' and 'increased'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for growth and decline (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'gradual decline', 'sharp increase'). There are no major spelling errors, but the word choice is functional rather than sophisticated. Expanding your repertoire of descriptive adjectives and adverbs would help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your meaning is generally clear. There are some minor grammatical issues, such as the redundant phrasing 'between the period of 1960 and 2020' (it should be 'between 1960 and 2020' or 'during the period 1960–2020'). You also have some punctuation errors, such as using 'Although' at the start of a sentence followed by a comma, which is grammatically incorrect in this context. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider variety of error-free complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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