Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
THE LINE GRAPH TRACKS THE CHANGES IN THE FOURE DIFFRENT TYPE OF JOB SECTORS SUCH AS MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE IN THE US ECONOMY FROM 1960 TO 2020. THE DATA GIVEN IN THE MILLIONS.
TO COMMENCE WITH, IN THE YEAR 1960, THE MANUFACTURING DEPARTMENT NOTED AROUND 15 MILLIONS JOBS. WHILE ABOVE 5 MILLIONS JOBS RECOREDED IN THE HEALTHCARE SECTORS. AFTER TWO DECADES, MANUFACTURING JOB SLIGHTLY INCREASED AT 20 MILLIONS. WHILE, MARGINALLY DECREASED BELOW 5 MILLIONS IN HEALTH CARE SECTOR AND STEADY END OF THE YEAR 2020. IN ADDITION, AFTER 1980 IT WAS GRADUALLY DECLINED TILL THE YEAR 2020 BELOW 15 MILLIONS.
MOREOVER, THE RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE CATEGORIES ARE ACCOUNTED THE JOBS AT 4 MILLIONS. WHICH WAS THE SAME IN BOTH SECTORS. HOWEVER, RETAIL SECTOR CONTINOUSLY WENT UP ABOVE 15 MILLIONS TILL THE YEAR 2020. HENCE, AGRICULTURE CATEGORY RAPIDLY ROSE AT 15 MILLIONS IN THE END OF THE YEAR.
OVERALL, IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, IN THE US ECONOMY THE RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SECTORS WERE GETTING THE HIGHEST JOB, WHILE AGRICULTURE SECORE NOTED LEAST JOB IN THE END OF THE YEAR.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing and retail. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating that manufacturing 'noted around 15 millions jobs' in 1960 is incorrect based on the visual data, and the description of the agriculture sector is contradictory. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall trends. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are precise and that the comparisons between sectors are logically consistent with the provided graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'While, marginally decreased' and the misuse of 'Hence' to introduce a trend. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult to follow the chronological development of the data. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'noted', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'FOURE', 'DIFFRENT', 'RECOREDED', and 'CONTINOUSLY', which distract the reader. Additionally, word choice is often imprecise, such as using 'department' instead of 'sector' and 'categories are accounted the jobs' which is grammatically incorrect. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') and ensure accurate spelling of common terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing job slightly increased'), incorrect pluralisation (e.g., '15 millions jobs'), and missing articles. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often result in fragments or run-on sentences, such as 'Which was the same in both sectors.' To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and plural forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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