Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph gives information about number of jobs in millions in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The number of jobs in these four sectors tend to fluctuate between these years. In 1960, jobs in manufacturing sectors was about 15 millions out of 25, much higher than in other three areas. It then increased by 20 in 1980 and then it followed by a decreased trend in 2000 by 17 and become much lower in 2020 by 12.
The vacancies in retail sector was about 6 in 1960 but then it continuously increased to 10 in 1980, 15 in 2000 and 16 in 2020.
Employment in agriculture sector. It is about 6 out of 25 in 1960, but it declined gradually up to 2020.
And at last in healthcare, it showed an increasing pattern, 2 in 1960, 5 in 1980 and then a sudden increase in its number by 11 in 2000 and then 16 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, the overview is missing; a summary of the main trends (e.g., the decline of agriculture versus the rise of healthcare and retail) is essential for a higher band. The data reporting is sometimes inaccurate or confusing, such as stating manufacturing increased by 20 in 1980, which does not align with the graph. The analysis lacks a clear comparison between the sectors, focusing instead on listing individual figures. To improve, ensure you identify the most significant trends and group the data logically rather than just listing numbers chronologically.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and repetitive, with phrases like 'in 1960' and 'in 1980' used as the primary way to link sentences. There is a lack of variety in transition words, and some sentences are disjointed, such as the fragment 'Employment in agriculture sector.' which lacks a verb. Improving the flow between sentences using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' 'Meanwhile') would help the text read more naturally and logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. The student relies heavily on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' and often uses them incorrectly in context (e.g., 'increased by 20' when referring to a total number rather than a change). There is also some confusion with word forms, such as 'decreased trend' instead of 'downward trend'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a sharp rise,' and ensure that the terminology used accurately reflects the data provided.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs... tend to fluctuate', 'jobs... was about 15 millions'), incorrect preposition usage, and sentence fragments. For example, 'Employment in agriculture sector. It is about 6...' should be a single, grammatically correct sentence. The misuse of 'millions' (should be 'million' when preceded by a number) and inconsistent tense usage also detract from the clarity. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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