Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The below graph illustrates the number of job in some sector as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in us between 1960 to 2020.

overall, manufacturing job sector is increased significantly, while retail and healthcare both are grow as well as the agriculture job was started high and decreased throughout years.

In 1960 as we can see it is clearly shows the manufacturing jobs are 15 million in 1960 although slightly increased to 20 million and then follows downward at approximately 17 million in year 2020 also retailing jobs are started at 5 million in 1960 and grow upward graph to last 60 years ,almost 16 million in year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the task. While you have identified some main features, such as the trends for manufacturing and agriculture, the analysis is incomplete. You have omitted data for the healthcare sector entirely, despite it being mentioned in your introduction. Furthermore, the summary lacks sufficient detail and comparative analysis, which are essential for a Band 6 or higher. To improve, ensure you cover all categories provided in the graph and provide a more comprehensive overview of the data trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as the phrase 'as we can see it is clearly shows', which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'grow' and 'increased' without much variation. There are also issues with word formation and collocation, such as 'manufacturing job sector' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'grow upward graph'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a steady decline', and focus on using more precise terminology related to economic sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing job sector is increased'), tense usage ('agriculture job was started'), and sentence structure ('as we can see it is clearly shows'). The range of structures is limited to simple sentences, with few attempts at complex forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the correct use of tenses when describing past data, and work on eliminating redundant words that make your sentences difficult to parse.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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