Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph demonstrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Occupation includes Retail, Agriculture, Manufacturing and Healthcare.
According to the chart number of jobs are in four sectors of the economt in the US during [redacted phone]. Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare are the four major sector across the country. In 1960, Manufacturing is the one of the most famous occoupation which is approximately 16 million. Similarly, Healthcare is the sector which is less populated and lowest job sector amoung these other jobs. By the end 2020, Medical center and retail was very famous as well as having equivalent job requirement which is around 15 million jobs.
In conclusion, The four major sectors were famous during [redacted phone]. During 1960, only Making product were providing highest number of job among these work. But , in 2020, retail and medical health center providing highest number of work which is 15 million each.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task but lacks a clear overview of the main trends. While you identified the sectors and some data points, the description is repetitive and lacks analytical depth. For example, you mention 'Manufacturing' and 'Healthcare' multiple times without effectively contrasting the overall trajectory of all four sectors. The summary of the data is somewhat inaccurate, as you describe sectors as 'famous' or 'populated' rather than focusing on the number of jobs. To improve, ensure you highlight the most significant changes, such as the decline in Agriculture versus the growth in Healthcare, and provide a more cohesive overview in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The transition between sentences is often mechanical, and the repetition of information (e.g., repeating the list of sectors in the second paragraph) disrupts the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes incorrectly, such as the abrupt start of the conclusion. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a distinct focus rather than restating the same information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'famous', 'jobs', and 'work' instead of more precise academic terminology related to economic trends. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'less populated' to describe a job sector, which is not appropriate in this context. Spelling errors like 'economt', 'occoupation', and 'amoung' also detract from the quality of the writing. Expanding your range of vocabulary to include terms like 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed' would significantly improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manufacturing is the one of the most famous occoupation') and tense usage (e.g., 'Manufacturing is the one... in 1960'). The sentence structures are predominantly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent verb tenses when describing historical data.
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