Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph depicts the information corresponding to the number of jobs across the four sectors of the economy in the USA over the period of 60 years.

The retail and agriculture sector took their start from the 7 million in 1960 and showed 2 distinct results in the later years: retail surged up to 15 million by 2000 while at the same time agriculture sector showed declines to 2 million solely.

The manufacturing sector was started to increase from 15 million and reached 20 million in 1980 and afterwards, its trend started to fell continuously and showed 13 million in 2020.

Another sector was healthcare which had only 2 million jobs in 1960 but it showed most significant improvements from 1960 to 2020. Furthermore, it completed the target of 15 million jobs by 2020.

In a nutshell, manufacturing showed the most significant improvement and reached 20 million in 1980 and agriculture remained consistently low by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the summary is somewhat limited. While you identify key trends, the 'overview' paragraph is missing, which is a requirement for a high band score in Task 1. You successfully highlight the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the conclusion contains a factual error, stating that manufacturing showed the most significant improvement, whereas the data clearly shows healthcare had the most dramatic growth. To improve, ensure your overview highlights the most striking trends rather than just repeating data points, and double-check your interpretation of the graph to ensure accuracy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices such as 'furthermore' and 'in a nutshell'. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally mechanical, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. For example, the second paragraph jumps between retail and agriculture without a clear logical link. Improving the use of referencing (e.g., 'the former', 'the latter') and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the flow and logical progression of your report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'surged', 'declines', and 'continuously'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'took their start from' is unnatural; 'began at' or 'started at' would be more appropriate. Similarly, 'showed 2 distinct results' is vague. You rely on basic descriptors for trends. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure your collocations are natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'The manufacturing sector was started to increase' is passive and awkward; 'The manufacturing sector began to increase' is better. You also have issues with verb tenses and word forms, such as 'its trend started to fell' (should be 'fall') and 'most significant improvements' (missing 'the'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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