Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020. The sectors are manufacturing,agriculture,retail and healthcare.
Overall, it is evident that, manufacturing had the highest job economy in the beginning of the period. However,retail and healthcare increased throughout the period.
In 1960, manufacturing had the employment sector about 15 millions. Then it rose and reached 20 millions in 1980. After, this year manufacturing was continuously declining until the period. Moreover, retail and agriculture had similar by 6 millions jobs. However, retail employment sector had quickly increaseing in whole period and agriculture showed the down
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement. Because the response is only 103 words, the analysis is incomplete and lacks the necessary depth to fully cover the main features of the graph. While you identified the sectors and provided some data points, the description of the trends is underdeveloped. For example, you mention that manufacturing declined after 1980, but you do not provide a clear comparison of the final figures for all four sectors. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive overview and support all main trends with specific data from the graph to reach the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of length and limited use of cohesive devices. While you use some linking words like 'However' and 'Moreover', the transitions between sentences feel somewhat mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'After, this year', which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, connecting your sentences more naturally to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'increased' and 'declining'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'highest job economy' (which is inaccurate; 'highest number of jobs' would be better) and 'employment sector had quickly increaseing' (incorrect verb form and word choice). The term 'showed the down' is not standard English and lacks precision. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more varied vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your word forms are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'manufacturing had the employment sector about 15 millions' (missing preposition and incorrect pluralisation) and 'retail and agriculture had similar by 6 millions jobs'. The sentence 'retail employment sector had quickly increaseing' contains a tense error. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using correct prepositions when describing data points.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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