Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors; manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that manufacturing recorded the highest figures initially until fell down considerably, whereas agriculture had the lowest. In addition, both retail and healthcare were consistent and significantly increased to overtake manufacturing in final year.

Regarding manufacturing, In 1960, there were 15 million jobs and surged up to all time highest figures in 1980, standing at 20 million, while declined sharply over the period of time and accounted for 13 million in 2020. By contrast, there were two jobs area which keep growing over the period of time, Healthcare began with 2.5 million job opportunities in 1960, whereas it grew up substantially to reached the highest figures, standing just over 15 million in 2020. This was followed by retail which began with 6 million jobs in 1960 and rose up dramatically to reach 15 million mark and merge with healthcare in 2020.

In contrast, agriculture began with same numbers as retail 6 million in 1960. However, it dropped significantly to almost half in 1980, stood at 2.5 million and remained constant for next two decade until marginally declined to 1.5 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you stated that agriculture and retail began with the same number of jobs in 1960 (6 million), but the graph shows agriculture starting at a different point. Additionally, the description of the trends could be more precise; for example, saying 'fell down considerably' is a bit vague. To improve, ensure you double-check the data points against the graph and use more specific comparative language to highlight the differences between the sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Regarding', and 'By contrast'. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'there were two jobs area which keep growing'. The use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, which slightly disrupts the flow. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is always smooth and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surged', 'declined sharply', and 'substantially'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'fell down considerably' (instead of 'declined significantly'), 'two jobs area' (instead of 'two job sectors'), and 'merge with healthcare' (instead of 'converge with'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise vocabulary usage. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and collocations related to trends will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with verb tenses ('keep growing' instead of 'kept growing'), subject-verb agreement ('there were two jobs area'), and missing articles or prepositions ('in final year' instead of 'in the final year'). Some sentences are also slightly fragmented or run-on. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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