Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the information about the number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
There are four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. The healthcare starts from lowest jobs but ended with highest jobs in million.
The manufacturing starts from highest peak by 15 million but it get decreased by 1980 and end at 13 million. Retail get rose by 5 million in two year but in last year it gets on 1 million. Agriculture began with 6 million but it slowly decline every year and end at 3 million. Lastly, healthcare starts from only 3 million but drastically increase and reach at 16 million by 2020.
The highest fluctuation is done by manufacturing and healthcare and they also intersect with each other. Where as retail and agriculture starts from same place. There is no growth in agriculture from starting, it continuously gets decreasing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the four sectors and their trends. However, the reporting of data is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating that retail 'rose by 5 million in two year' is not supported by the visual data, and the description of trends is somewhat simplistic. While the overview is present, it lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band. The response would benefit from a more precise selection of data points to support the trends described, rather than making general statements that do not align with the provided graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'Where as' and 'Lastly'. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the description of trends feels like a list of isolated observations rather than a cohesive analysis. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the trends in the different sectors more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'starts from', 'ended with', and 'gets on' are used frequently, which limits the range. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'highest peak by 15 million' and 'highest fluctuation is done by'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', 'gradual decline', or 'significant growth', and ensure that these terms are used with greater precision in the context of economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'The healthcare starts from lowest jobs but ended with highest jobs' and 'Retail get rose'. Subject-verb agreement is frequently problematic (e.g., 'manufacturing... get decreased', 'it continuously gets decreasing'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequent errors in verb tense and sentence construction mean that the reader must occasionally work to understand the intended meaning. A greater focus on consistent tense usage and sentence variety is necessary.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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