Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This paragraph illustrates the number of jobs in the US between 1960 and 2020 in four sectors of economy. It shows the dramatic increase and drastic fall between manufacturing and agriculture sectors.
Overall, manufacturing sector has highest employment opportunities in 1960, whereas the number of job opportunities dramatically increase in healthcare sector from 2million to approximately 16million.
First of all, manufacturing sector grows from 15 million to 20million in 1980 and then steadily falls to 16million in 2000 and continues to decrease. In a meanwhile, the retail sector suddenly is increased from 5million to 16million in 20000 and then remain unchanged.
Besides manufacturing and retail the agriculture sector shows steady fall and healthcare sector indicates a dramatic rise from 2million to 16million. This data clearly indicates that retail and healthcare sectors have more job opportunities within time.
In addition the manufacturing and agriculture sectors data reflect the steadily decline in employment opportunities.
In a nutshell, the two sectors are creating more opportunities with the passage of time including healthcare and retail, while remaining sectors including manufacturing and agriculture show steadily decline from 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state the retail sector increased to '20000' (likely a typo for 2000) and remained unchanged, which does not accurately reflect the graph. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the overall trends. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that you group information logically rather than listing sectors individually. The summary of trends is somewhat repetitive, and the distinction between the growth and decline sectors could be more clearly articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In a meanwhile' and 'First of all' are used somewhat awkwardly. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the transition between the third and fourth paragraphs. While there is an attempt to use linking words, the flow between sentences is not always smooth, and some sentences feel like isolated statements rather than a cohesive analysis of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You use basic descriptors like 'dramatic increase' and 'steady fall' repeatedly. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'within time' instead of 'over time' and 'steadily decline' instead of 'steady decline'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and ensure that your collocations are natural. The error with the number '20000' also impacts the clarity of your lexical presentation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'manufacturing sector' instead of 'the manufacturing sector'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'steadily decline' instead of 'steady decline'), and awkward phrasing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.