Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate information about the amount of money which was earned by three bakeries in London, over a ten year period between 2000 and 2010.

What stand out from graph is that.

Overall, it is evident that there were considerable upward trends in the income of both bernie's Buns and Robbie's bakery, while the down trend was noticed in Lovely bones be over the period.

Looking at the details, as regards bernie's buns. income started at $ 2000 in 2000, then there was a fluctuation over the next three years, at which it levelled off at just under $ 40000 until 2006. then the figure went up significantly finishing at around $ 85000 in 2010. For that of Robbies bakery, the trend was similar, Having remained stable at approximately 55000 in the first half of the decade, Incom then rose sharply, reaching nearly $ 90 000 in 2008. There was then a gradual rise to around £ [redacted phone] in 2010.

By contrast, the income of Lovely Loaves went in the opposite direction. Takings fluctuated around £ 90,000 until 2004. After that, despite falling sharply to just over £ 40 000 in 2006, the figure then levelled off in the last two years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response fails to address the task prompt. The instructions provided a graph about 'jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US', but the student wrote about 'three bakeries in London'. This is a significant misinterpretation of the task. While the student does attempt to report trends and make comparisons, the content is entirely irrelevant to the provided data. Consequently, the response cannot be assessed as a successful completion of the task, as the information presented does not match the source material provided in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Looking at the details', 'By contrast', and 'After that'. However, the logical flow is hindered by the disconnect between the introduction and the body paragraphs. The second sentence, 'What stand out from graph is that.', is an incomplete fragment, which disrupts the flow. While the paragraphing is present, the lack of a clear, accurate summary of the actual data provided in the prompt makes the overall coherence weak.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trends', 'fluctuation', 'levelled off', and 'rose sharply'. However, there are inconsistencies in currency symbols (switching between $ and £) and frequent errors in capitalization (e.g., 'bernie's Buns', 'Robbies bakery', 'Incom'). These errors, combined with the fact that the vocabulary is applied to the wrong subject matter, limit the effectiveness of the lexical range. The vocabulary is adequate for the level of description but lacks the precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate'), punctuation errors (missing commas and incorrect full stops), and sentence fragments ('What stand out from graph is that.'). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of basic grammatical slips and punctuation errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. The control over complex structures is inconsistent, and errors are noticeable throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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