Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the detailed overview of the number of jobs in four industries of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it has been clearly observed that manufacturing jobs are popular in the America. Whereas the least popular among the US job is agriculture in [redacted phone].
In 1960, Manufacturing field started at 15 million. The highest and the peak of this job opportunities were in 1980 with 20 million jobs available in US, however the sharp decline was observed over the period of time with less than 15 million in 2020. The agriculture jobs in 1960 were around 6 million than a steady fall was observed in 1980 with less than 5 million and in following years there were less fluctuation in agriculture field with around 2 to 3 million in 2020.
The retail category started with estimation of 6 million in 1980 and over the years the drastic upwards trend has been observed till 2000 it was around 15 million and in 2020 it was just above 15 million. Lastly, the similar pattern was observed in healthcare industry as retail industry as it was started with 2 million job opportunities in 1960 and 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons. However, the response lacks precision in some areas. For example, you mention 'retail category started with estimation of 6 million in 1980', but the graph shows data starting from 1960. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the starting point. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference the data points with the axes to avoid factual errors, as accuracy is vital in Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. You use some cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'however', and 'lastly' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'the similar pattern was observed in healthcare industry as retail industry'. The use of referencing could be more precise to ensure the reader follows the comparison clearly. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sharp decline', 'steady fall', and 'drastic upwards trend'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing jobs are popular' (a better term would be 'prevalent' or 'dominant') and 'less fluctuation' (which should be 'fewer fluctuations'). Some phrasing is repetitive, and the word 'estimation' is used incorrectly in the context of reading a graph. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations and focusing on precise terminology will help you achieve a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'the least popular among the US job is agriculture' should be 'the least popular sector was agriculture'. There are also issues with article usage ('in the America', 'in healthcare industry') and prepositional errors ('in 1960 to 2020' should be 'between 1960 and 2020'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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