Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the detailed overview of the number of jobs in four industries of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it has been clearly observed that manufacturing jobs are popular in the America. Whereas the least popular among the US job is agriculture in [redacted phone].
In 1960, the manufacturing field started at 15 million. The highest and the peak of this job opportunities were in 1980 with 20 million jobs available in the US, however the sharp decline was observed over the period of time with less than 15 million in 2020. The agriculture jobs in 1960 were around 6 million then a steady fall was observed in 1980 with less than 5 million and in following years there was less fluctuation in the agriculture field with around 2 to 3 million in 2020.
The retail category started with an estimation of 6 million in 1980 and over the years the drastic upwards trend has been observed till 2000 it was around 15 million and in 2020 it was just above 15 million. Lastly, the similar patter was observed in the healthcare industry as the retail industry as it was started with 2 million job opportunities in 1960 and 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, you describe manufacturing as 'popular' rather than focusing on the number of jobs, and you state agriculture is the 'least popular' throughout the period, which ignores the early years where it was higher than other sectors. Additionally, there are some data inaccuracies, such as stating retail started in 1980 when the graph shows data from 1960. To improve, ensure your overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the growth of service sectors versus the decline of manufacturing and agriculture) and double-check your data points against the axes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the trends. You use some cohesive devices like 'however' and 'lastly' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where the comparison between retail and healthcare is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that transitions between sentences flow more naturally to guide the reader through the data comparisons.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'sharp decline,' 'steady fall,' and 'drastic upwards trend.' However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'popular' to describe job numbers and 'less fluctuation' when describing a downward trend. There is also a slight repetition of 'industry' and 'field.' To improve, try to use more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'plummeted,' 'surged,' or 'remained relatively stable,' and ensure your word choices are contextually appropriate for describing economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the least popular among the US job is agriculture' (should be 'jobs are'), 'the similar patter was observed' (spelling/article error), and 'it was started with' (passive voice misuse). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice when describing data. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you move toward a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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