Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the four different fields us economy had from year 1960 to 2020 respectively , for calculations figure in millions are given .
Overall , health and retail sector had seen upward trend throughout the period ; however manufacturing seen downward after initial rise . Whereas agricultural jobs decreased over the time in given period.
To begin with , manufacturing jobs in 1960 accounted at 15 million followed by 20 million in 1980 before approx 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020 at its all time low . In contrast , agricultural jobs declined dramatic till 1980 then stood steady for next 20 years before accounts less than 3 million in 2020.
Coming to rest , healthcare sector increased considerably form as low as 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 almost more than double . This trend followed , counted around 11 million in 2000 and more than 15 million in 2020 . In addition, retail also seen same pattern starting form 6 million goes to 10 in 1980 , moreover to 15 million in 2000 and almost 16 million in 2020 respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the upward trend in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture and the fluctuating manufacturing sector. However, the analysis could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the sectors rather than listing data for each one in isolation. For instance, noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing as the largest employer would have strengthened the response. Overall, the information is accurate and the key trends are well-summarised, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0, but it leans towards 6.5 due to the lack of comparative synthesis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organised into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'To begin with', and 'Coming to rest' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Coming to rest' to introduce the final two sectors. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression is logical, which is consistent with the Band 6.0 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'accounted at', and 'declined dramatic'. However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation, such as 'declined dramatic' (should be 'dramatically') and 'Coming to rest' (which is not an appropriate transition here). You also rely on basic phrasing like 'counted around' and 'goes to'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise adverbs and verbs to describe trends and ensure collocations are natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and prepositions, such as 'manufacturing seen downward' (should be 'manufacturing saw a downward trend') and 'starting form' (should be 'starting from'). There are also issues with article usage and tense consistency. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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