Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS THE DATA OF VARIOURS JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMY IN THE US FROM 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL, IN 1960, HIGHEST NUMBER OF WORK IS IN MANUFACTURING SECTOR AND LOWEST IN HEALTHCARE. IN THE END OF 2020 HEATHCARE AND RETAIL SECTOR, BOTH HAD EQUAL NUMBER OF JOB.
IN 1960, MANUFACTURING SECTOR WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG THE ALL WITH 15 MILLIONS OF JOBS AND IT ROSE TO 20 MILLIONS IN 1980. BUT A DROP WAS SEEN IN NEXT FOUR DECADE AND END UP AT 13 MILLIONS. REATIAL HAS ONLY 6 MILLIONS JOBS IN 1960 BUT A DRASTIC CHANGE WAS OBSEVER AND IT OVERTAKE MANFACTURING HAD 16 MILLIONS JOBS.
IN AGRICULTURE IT STARTED WITH 6 MILLIONS AND AS YEAR PASSES IT GOES DOWN OT 3 MIILIONS JOBS IN 2020. HEATHCARE SECTOR HAD 3 MIILIONS JOBS IN 1960, WHILE A DRAMATIC RISE WAS SEEN IN YEAR 1980 AND 2000 WITH 5 AND 11 MIILIONS JOBS RESPECTIVELY. BETWEEN 2000 AND 2020 IT OVERTAKE ALL THE SECTOR AND REACH TO 16 MILLIONS JOBS IN 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that healthcare and retail had an equal number of jobs in 2020, but the graph shows healthcare at 16 million and retail at 16 million, which is correct, but you missed that manufacturing also ended at 13 million, not 16. Additionally, your description of the manufacturing trend is slightly inaccurate regarding the final figures. While you identify the main features, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In 1960', 'However', and 'Between 2000 and 2020', which help the flow. However, the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the progression of ideas feels slightly disjointed due to grammatical errors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends, which helps the reader follow the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing sector', 'drastic change', and 'dramatic rise'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'VARIOURS', 'HEATHCARE', 'REATIAL', 'OBSEVER', and 'MANFACTURING'. These errors are frequent and occasionally distracting. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the consistent spelling mistakes and occasional word-choice inaccuracies limit the score. To improve, focus on proofreading your work for common spelling errors and ensuring precise terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('highest number of work is', 'it goes down ot'), incorrect verb tenses ('it overtake'), and missing articles. For instance, 'it overtake manufacturing had 16 millions jobs' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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