Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS CHANGES THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS MANUFACTURING ,RETAIL AGRICULTURE ,HEALTHCARE .IN THE US BETWEEN 1960 AND 2020.

OVERALL, JOBS IN MANUFECTURING STARTED HIGHEST BUT DECREASED SIGNIFICANTLY OVER TIME IN CONTRAST, JOBS ARE IN RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE ARE EXPERIENCED STEADY GROWTH.WHILE AGRICULTURE REMAINED LOWEST IN THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.

LOOKING AT THE DETAIL,MANUFECTURING BEGAN AT 15 MILLION JOB IN 1960 PEAKED AT 20 MILLION IN 1980 AND THEN DROPPED STEADILY TO JUST OVER 13 MILLION BY 2020. RETAIL SAW A CONTINOUS RISE.AND AGRICULTURE IS FALL IN 2020.HEALTHCARE STARTED FROM 1960 AND INCREASES IN 2020.

SIMILARLY,HEALTHCARE GREW SINGNIFICANTLY FROM A LOW OF MILLION JOB IN 1960 TO NEARLY 16 MILLION BY 2020 MEANWHILE AGRICULTURE STATED AT 6 MILLION IN 1960 DIPPED TO 3 MILLION IN1980 AND STAYED RELATIVELY FLAT BELOW 3 MILLION FOR THE REST OF THE PERIOD.

IN CONCLUSION WHILE MANUFECTRING JOBS DECLINED RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE INCREASED IN 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly disjointed, and some data points are inaccurate or missing (e.g., the mention of 'a low of million job' is incomplete). While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. The conclusion is repetitive and does not add new insight. To improve, ensure all data points are clearly stated and the overview provides a more cohesive summary of the trends rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is often mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as the abrupt transition 'IN CONTRAST, JOBS ARE IN RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE ARE EXPERIENCED STEADY GROWTH'. The punctuation is inconsistent, with several instances of missing spaces after periods and commas, which disrupts the reading flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure would significantly enhance the clarity of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are frequent spelling errors, such as 'MANUFECTURING', 'CONTINOUS', and 'SINGNIFICANTLY'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'increased' and 'decreased'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied synonyms for trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged') and ensure accurate spelling of key terms related to the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'JOBS ARE IN RETAIL... ARE EXPERIENCED') and article usage. Sentence construction is often awkward, such as 'AGRICULTURE IS FALL IN 2020'. Punctuation errors, particularly regarding capitalization and spacing, are pervasive throughout the text. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for common grammatical slips will help improve the accuracy of your writing.

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