Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the line graph depicts the number of jobs in retail, agriculture, healthcare , manufacturing in the us from the year 1960 to 2020.
in the year 1980,the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was 15million. In agriculture and retail sector it was almost 6 million.in healthcare sector it was approximately 3million. in the manufacturing sector it inclined by 5million. the count of jobs in healthcare and retail sector was 5 and10 million.in agriculture sector the number of jobs were decreased to around 4 million.
after20 years the number of jobs in manufacturing, agriculture, retail, healthcare sectors was around 17,4,15,12 millions respectively.in 2020,the count of retail and agriculture job was same it was around 16 million and in manufacturing and healthcare sector it decreased to almost 8 and 2 million orderly.
overall, it can be said that the number of jobs in retail and agriculture sector was same in 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the four sectors, but the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For instance, the description of the trends between 1960 and 2020 is confusing, and the data points cited do not clearly align with typical interpretations of such a graph. The overview is very brief and fails to highlight the most significant trends, such as the long-term decline in agriculture versus the growth in other sectors. To improve, ensure that the data selected is accurate and that the overview provides a clear summary of the main features rather than just repeating specific figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is minimal and often mechanical, such as the repetitive start of sentences with 'in the year' or 'in the... sector'. There is a lack of linking words to connect ideas, making the text feel like a list of disjointed observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use a wider variety of transition signals (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Meanwhile') to guide the reader through the data and improve the flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Words like 'number of jobs', 'sector', and 'count' are used repeatedly throughout the text. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. The spelling of 'orderly' instead of 'respectively' is also an error in word choice. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning collocations related to data description will significantly improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent errors in punctuation, such as missing spaces after periods (e.g., '1980,the', '6 million.in'), and inconsistent capitalization. Subject-verb agreement is also an issue, for example, 'the number of jobs were decreased'. The lack of complex sentence structures limits the range of grammar demonstrated. To improve, focus on using a mix of simple and complex sentences, and pay closer attention to basic punctuation rules and subject-verb agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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