Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs in fore sectors- manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare- in the US economy in 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs for most of the period, although it experienced a decline in 2020. In addition, retail and healthcare ended the period at the same level, while agriculture consistently had the lowest number of jobs.

At the beginning of the period, retail and healthcare accounted for 6 million and 3 millions jobs respectively. Both sectors experienced a gradual increase over the period and eventually reached 16 million jobs in 2020.

Looking at the manufacturing sector in greater detail, it had the highest number of jobs throughout the most of the period. the figures increased from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 2000, before falling to 17 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture had a relatively low number of jobs. it started at the same level as retail in 1960 but experienced a significant decline by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the dominance of manufacturing and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you state that manufacturing experienced a decline in 2020, which is correct, but you fail to mention that it remained the highest sector overall. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is somewhat vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that all key features are clearly highlighted in the overview and that comparisons between sectors are more explicit throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices like 'In addition,' 'At the beginning of the period,' and 'In contrast' helps the flow of information. However, the paragraphing could be improved; the final paragraph is quite short and the transition between the general overview and the specific details is somewhat mechanical. Referencing is generally clear, though the connection between the data points could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounted for,' 'gradual increase,' and 'significant decline.' However, there are some minor errors, such as 'fore sectors' (spelling) and 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and descriptive adjectives would help elevate the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Although it experienced a decline...' and 'The figures increased from...'. There are several punctuation and capitalization errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters ('the figures', 'it started'). Additionally, there are minor grammatical slips like 'in 1960 to 2020' (should be 'from 1960 to 2020') and '3 millions jobs' (should be '3 million jobs'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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