Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors- manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing had highest number of jobs for most of the period, although it declined in the final year, in contrast, healthcare started with lowest figure but experienced significant growth. Agriculture had the lowest number of jobs in the previous year, while, retail and healthcare had the same figure.
At the beginning of the period, in 1960 healthcare accounted for approximately 3 million, while retail provided around 6 million. The number of jobs in both sectors gradually increased over the following years and given the same figure for both sectors reached around 16 million jobs. Afterwards, in 2020 agriculture had provided similar quantity of jobs as healthcare had in 1960, as well as in 1980 and 2000 the number of jobs remained constant at approximately 4 million.
In 1960, 1980 and 2000 manufacturing had allotted the highest jobs approximately 15, 20 and 17 million. Besides in 2020 it decreased with 13 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the overview mentions manufacturing had the highest jobs for most of the period, but the supporting paragraph lacks a clear chronological flow, making it difficult to follow the data points. The comparison between sectors is present but could be more precise; for example, the description of agriculture remaining constant at 4 million is accurate, but the phrasing regarding retail and healthcare reaching 16 million is slightly confusing due to the lack of specific time markers. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are clearly linked to their respective years.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader navigate the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Besides in 2020 it decreased with 13 million jobs.' The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is functional, but the logical progression within the paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'given the same figure for both sectors' is ambiguous. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their subjects would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'accounted for', and 'significant growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'allotted the highest jobs' is not natural; 'recorded the highest number of jobs' would be more appropriate. Similarly, 'decreased with 13 million jobs' should be 'decreased to 13 million jobs'. While the range is sufficient to convey the main points, the lack of precision in collocations prevents a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('had highest number') and incorrect preposition usage ('decreased with'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage in complex sentences. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall control of the language. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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