Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line chart illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors like Manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare of the economy in the US between the year 1960 and 2020.
Overall, In the year 1960 manufacturing sector was the highest in the list of jobs with however healthcare was accounted for the least number of jobs. In the year 2020 agriculture was recorded with the least number of jobs.
In the year 1960, Manufacturing stood with the maximum number of jobs with 15 million and in the year 1980 it went to gone up to 20 million, however by the year 2020 it reduced up by around 12 million jobs. The healthcare sector was contributed with the lowest in the year 1960 with around 2 million jobs, by the time at the year 2020 it was recorded with the 15 million jobs.
In the retail sector in the year 1960 retail sector was recorded with 5 million jobs and over the period it gradually increased and gone up to 15 million jobs in year 2020.The agriculture sector was reported with 5 million jobs in the year 1960 and by the time gradually decress up to 2 million jobs by the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlight the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions the highest and lowest points, it could be more analytical by summarising the overall shift in the economy. Some data points are slightly inaccurate or phrased awkwardly, such as saying manufacturing 'reduced up by around 12 million', which is confusing. To improve, ensure that the overview provides a clear, high-level summary of the most significant trends rather than just listing specific start and end points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In the year 1960'. Some transitions are slightly awkward, for example, 'by the time at the year 2020'. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother, using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends like 'gradually increased' and 'lowest number of jobs'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'reduced up by' and 'decress up to'. The repetition of 'number of jobs' throughout the text limits the range. To improve, try to use more precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'workforce', and ensure that you use collocations correctly to avoid awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'it went to gone up to', 'the healthcare sector was contributed with', and 'gradually decress up to'. These errors relate to verb tense, passive voice construction, and word formation. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past and present trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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