Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph depicts the details about the variety of Job market, which contribute towards the economy in the US between the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing industry is the highest contributor for the economy in the US over the start of the year, later it collapsed after the year 1980 consecutively in the further years. Whereas healthcare was the healthcare was the least contributors towards the economy of the US in the starting year but later it rose in the further years.

To begin with, manufacturing was the top contributors of the economy in the US, later it skyrocketed in the year 1980 with contribution of 20 million, but furthermore, it later crashed significantly from the year 1980 and ended with 13 million at the end of the year. Retail and agriculture were the only jobs which contributed the same towards the economy of the US in the first year with 6 million respectively.

Moreover, agriculture being above the healthcare in the start of the year but later it dipped down, becoming the least contributors towards the economy of the US. On the other hand, the industry of healthcare rose significantly in the consecutive years and ended similar to the retail contributing the 15 million towards the economy of US in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for the four sectors. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing 'skyrocketed' in 1980, but the graph shows a peak around 1980 followed by a decline. Additionally, the claim that retail and agriculture contributed the same in the first year is slightly imprecise based on the visual data. While you provide an overview and supporting details, the analysis lacks precision in describing the magnitude of changes, which is essential for a higher band. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately and that the overview highlights the most significant trends rather than just listing individual sector movements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing, such as 'the healthcare was the healthcare was' in the second paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the mechanical use of some linking words and the occasional lack of clarity in referencing prevent a higher score. Focusing on varied cohesive devices and proofreading for repetitive errors will enhance the overall structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contributor', 'skyrocketed', and 'consecutive'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'contributed the same towards the economy' and 'the variety of Job market'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the vocabulary lacks the precision required for a higher band. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also help you avoid repeating the same descriptors throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing industry is the highest contributor... over the start of the year' (tense inconsistency) and 'agriculture being above the healthcare' (fragmented structure). Punctuation is generally functional, but the errors in verb tense and sentence construction are noticeable. To reach a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free sentences and ensure consistent use of tenses when describing past trends. Practising complex sentence formation while maintaining grammatical accuracy will be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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