Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given figure is a line graph that shows how the number of jobs has been divided among the four economic sectors of the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the two sectors, i.e the retail and the healthcare, provided major number of jobs. moreover, the manufacturing sector was the second most in the run. while, the agricultural sector faced a continuous decline towards the end.
the two major sectors including the retail and healthcare had same number of jobs around 16 million at the end of 2020 but started with about 6 million and 2 million respectively in 1960.
The manufacturing sector had the most jobs at the beginning of 1960, with almost 15 million in number that even increased to 20 million in 1990, but somehow ended up as the second most providing sector in 2020 with around 13 million jobs. while the agricultural sector started with around 6 million jobs in 1960 which gradually decreased to around 2 million at the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that retail and healthcare provided the 'major number of jobs' is vague, and the description of manufacturing as the 'second most in the run' is confusing. While the key features are highlighted, the data reporting lacks precision in some areas, and the comparison between the start and end points could be more analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly captures the most significant trends rather than just listing sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as the use of 'moreover' and 'while' at the start of sentences. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Additionally, the lack of capitalization at the start of sentences (e.g., 'the two major sectors', 'the manufacturing sector') negatively impacts the flow and professional presentation of the text. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends like 'continuous decline' and 'gradually decreased'. However, the range is limited and somewhat repetitive. Phrases like 'second most in the run' and 'most providing sector' are unnatural and imprecise. There is a reliance on basic descriptive language. To improve, the student should incorporate more precise academic collocations related to data description, such as 'upward trajectory', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stagnant', and avoid informal phrasing to better suit the academic tone of the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in punctuation and capitalization that detract from the quality. For instance, sentences often begin with lowercase letters, and there are issues with article usage (e.g., 'the two sectors, i.e the retail and the healthcare'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic mechanics and grammar prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence-level accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and proper capitalization, is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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