Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this graph, there is the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States.

In this graph there is the four sectors in which Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare are present from the year 1960 to 2020. The jobs are measured in the million which are started from 0 to 25 million.

In which there is the information of jobs started from Manufacturing and which is 15 million in the 1960 and then in 1980 the jobs of manufacturing is 20 million, then in 2000 the job is 17 million and then later in 2020 the job of manufacturing is 13.5 million.

In the retail sector, the number of jobs is started from 6 million in 1960 and then in 1980, the jobs is increased and they were present at 10 million and then later in 2000 the job is 15 million and at the end of 2020 the job is 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends, which is a requirement for Band 6 and above. You have listed data points for only two of the four sectors (Manufacturing and Retail), completely omitting Agriculture and Healthcare. Furthermore, the description is purely a list of figures rather than a summary of the main features or a comparison between sectors. To improve, you must include all categories mentioned in the prompt and identify significant trends, such as which sector grew the most or which declined, rather than just reciting individual data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into short, repetitive paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is mechanical. Each sentence follows the same rigid structure ('In the... sector, the number of jobs is...'), which makes the writing feel like a list rather than a cohesive report. There is a lack of linking words or cohesive devices to connect the data points or contrast the sectors. To improve, use transition words like 'conversely', 'meanwhile', or 'in contrast' to link your sentences and create a more natural flow between the different economic sectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic phrases like 'the number of jobs is' and 'the job is'. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. The repetition of 'the job' is unnatural; in English, we would refer to 'employment levels' or 'job figures'. To achieve a higher band, you need to use a wider variety of verbs and nouns related to data description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammar is characterized by frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, 'there is the four sectors' should be 'there are four sectors', and 'the jobs is increased' should be 'the number of jobs increased'. The sentence structures are very simple and repetitive, lacking the complex sentence forms required for higher bands. There are also issues with tense consistency and unnecessary wordiness, such as 'which is 15 million in the 1960'. Focusing on basic sentence construction and avoiding redundant phrases will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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