Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The illustration depicts the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone].
Overall, it reveals information about the jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare department in the US. The number of jobs in retail and agriculture had increased every year, and decreased in health care, while the number keep fluctuated in manufacturing department throughout the time.
In the year of 1960, there were15 million jobs in manufacturing sector, which increased to 20 million in 1980, but keep decreasing after that till the 2020. The retail and agriculture jobs were less in the number about 5 and 2 million respectively, in 1960, but retail jobs gradually increased every year and reached to a number of 15 million, while agriculture jobs decreased to 2 million in 2020. However, the number of jobs in healthcare were about 2 million in 1960 and keep increasing throughout the period and achieved to 15 million number in the year of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation. For example, you state that retail and agriculture jobs increased every year, whereas the graph shows agriculture actually declined significantly after 1980. Additionally, you claim healthcare jobs decreased, while the graph shows a clear upward trend. These factual errors mean the summary is not fully accurate. To reach a higher band, ensure you carefully cross-reference the data points with your descriptions to avoid misrepresenting the information provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. While there is a logical attempt to group information, the progression is sometimes hindered by unclear referencing. For instance, the phrase 'the number keep fluctuated' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'however' and 'in the year of', but they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. Paragraphing is present, but the body paragraph is quite dense and would benefit from being split to separate the trends more clearly for the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'achieved'. There are also some word-choice errors, such as 'healthcare department' (instead of sector) and 'the number keep fluctuated'. The use of 'achieved to a number of' is non-standard collocation. To improve, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a steady growth', and ensure you use the correct terminology for economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the number keep fluctuated' (tense/subject-verb agreement error), 'there were15 million' (missing space), and 'the number of jobs in healthcare were' (subject-verb agreement error). Additionally, the use of articles is inconsistent, such as 'in the year of 1960'. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and verb tense limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.