Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart provides information regarding job vacancies in different sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the visuals highlight about job in retail and healthcare was more popular throughout the periods while other two sectors showed downward growth.
In 1960, manufacturing was most popular in US by 15 millions. In contrast, retail and agriculture accounted for 5 millions which was 4 million largest by healthcare.
Apart from this 4 and 6 millions of jobs in retail and healthcare at 1960 which showed steadily over the period by a difference of 4 millions between two sectors. Moreover, this figures were sharp rise at 16 millions in US by same two fields. While, manufacturing declined by 3 millions in 2020. From 1960 to 2020, the field of agriculture was remained constant by 3 millions of jobs in US which showed the lowest sector as compared to others.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that manufacturing was '15 millions' in 1960 and that retail and agriculture were '5 millions' is difficult to verify against standard interpretations of such charts. The description of the trends is somewhat vague, and the comparison between sectors lacks precision. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are clearly linked to the years provided and that the overall summary accurately reflects the significant shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing versus the growth in healthcare and retail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. While some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'Moreover' are used, their application is sometimes mechanical or grammatically incorrect, such as 'While, manufacturing declined'. The progression of ideas is hindered by sentences that do not clearly connect to the previous ones, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of the four sectors over the sixty-year period. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the last would significantly enhance the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'most popular' are used to describe economic sectors, which is not the most appropriate collocation for job statistics. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'downward growth' (which is a contradiction) and 'this figures were sharp rise'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations related to trends, such as 'experienced a decline' or 'remained stable', and avoid informal or imprecise descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('this figures were'), article usage ('in US'), and tense consistency. The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity, such as 'which showed steadily over the period'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To reach a higher band, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using articles correctly. Reducing the frequency of these errors is essential for better communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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