Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given figure illustrates the information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United State of America between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, in 1960 manufacturing was the most popular job in US and almost 15 million workers used to work for manufacturing and then it started growing but its ratio started decreasing in between 1990 to 2020 and the current ratio is 13 million.

However, manufacturing used to one of the most famous job ever but its ratio started decreasing in the US between 1990 to 2020. Retail is one of the most popular job nowadays. In 1960 the ratio of workers in retail started growing year by year and the current ratio of is 15 million in 2020. Agriculture is also one of the most popular job nowadays. Since 1960 its ratio is growing year by year and the current ratio is 15 million in 2020.

In 1960, healthcare ratio used to be 6 million but its ratio started decreasing year by year. Current ratio in healthcare is 3 million in 2020. Every job have their own era.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response identifies some main features, but the analysis is inaccurate and lacks precision. You mention that agriculture and retail reached 15 million in 2020, which contradicts the data provided in the graph. Furthermore, the description of trends is repetitive and lacks a clear overview of the comparative changes between sectors. The task requires a more accurate summary of the data points and a clearer distinction between the sectors. To improve, ensure you carefully read the graph's axes and labels before writing, and focus on grouping information logically rather than listing each sector individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. You use basic cohesive devices like 'However' and 'In 1960', but the transitions between sentences feel disjointed. The final sentence, 'Every job have their own era', is an informal observation that does not contribute to the academic summary of the data. To improve, use a wider range of linking words to show relationships between the data points, such as 'in contrast to', 'whereas', or 'subsequently', and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'ratio' to describe the number of jobs, which is inaccurate; 'number of workers' or 'employment figures' would be more appropriate. Phrases like 'most popular job' are also imprecise for describing economic sectors. There is a lack of variety in the language used to describe trends (e.g., 'growing year by year' is repeated). To reach a higher band, incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined steadily', or 'peaked'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'Every job have their own era' contains a subject-verb agreement error, and 'manufacturing used to one of the most famous job' is missing a verb. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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