Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of employment oppotunities in four major economic sectors of America between the year 1960 till 2020.

Overall,Retail and Healthcare sectors shows continuous incresse in job opportunities from [redacted phone].However, after some hike in job market of Manifacturing sector it continuously fallen down throught the period.Agriculture sector started good but jobs in this sector gradually decreased untill 2020.

There was 15 million jobs offered to people in the the year 1960 in Manufacturing sector and it goes to 20 million untill 1980 but the jobs market fallen down and there were approximately 17 million vacancies in 2000 and the number shrinks down to less then 15 million.Retail sector started with little more then 5 million vacant positions and this sector shown great potential with 10 million jobs in 1980,15 million in 2000 and 15 million plus untill 2020.

Moreover, Agricuture sector also starts with simikiar numbers like retails but it the nu,ber of jobs decresed in 1980 and untill 2000 the numbers remain constant but then another downfall in number of jobs occur and by the year 2020 only around 2,5 millions jobs was there for peoples in this sector. Healhcare sector started with a fewer jobs in 1960 compare to other three sectors but it has been continuous growth in job market for healthcare workers.This sector provided 5 million jobs in 1980 and the jobs were more then double by the year 2000. Healcare sector ends with te same number of jobs like retail by the 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in Retail and Healthcare and the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise (e.g., '15 million plus untill 2020' or 'around 2,5 millions'). To reach a higher band, ensure that figures are cited more accurately from the graph and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly drawn, rather than just listing data points for each sector individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive (e.g., 'the jobs were', 'this sector'). There are also issues with referencing; for instance, 'it the nu,ber of jobs' is unclear. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main trends, using terms like 'continuous increase', 'downfall', and 'vacancies'. However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'oppotunities', 'Manifacturing', 'Agricuture', 'Healhcare', 'simikiar') and some awkward word choices (e.g., 'started good'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling and using more precise collocations to describe economic trends, such as 'upward trajectory' or 'sharp decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Retail and Healthcare sectors shows'), incorrect verb tenses ('it continuously fallen down'), and punctuation errors. Additionally, there are several instances of missing articles or incorrect prepositions. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

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