Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE MULTI LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES DATA ABOUT THE NUMBER OF OCCUPATIONS IN FOUR DIFFERENR ECONOMIC SECTORS IN THE UNITED STATE OF AMERICA, OVER A PERIOD OF 60 YEARS, FROM 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL, THE MANUFACTURING BEGINS WITH ENORMOUS OCCUPATIONS AND REACH A HIGH; HOWEVER, AFTER SOME FLUCTUATION IT WENT DOWN. THE RETAIL REMAINED THE MOST JOBS IN THE US ECONOMY. FURTHERMORE, HEALTHCARE SECTOR EXPERIENCED THE MOST SIGNIFICANT GROWTH, WHILE, AGRICULTURE WAS THE ONLY SECTOR THAT SAW A DECLINE IN OPPURTUNITIES.
LOOKING AT THE LINE CHART IN DEEPLY, MANUFACTURING START WITH 15 MILLION JOBS IN 1960. FOLLOWED BY HIT A PEAK WITH 20 MILLION OPPURTUNITIES IN 1980. WITH THE PASSAGE OF TIME, IT SAW A DRAMATIC PLUNGE IN JOBS, APPROXIMATELY 13 MILLIONS BY THE END. CONVERSELY, RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE BEGIN WITH 5 AND 0 MILLIONS OF JOBS RESPECTIVELY. MOREOVER, THESE WERE ONLY SECTORS THAT SAW A GRADUALL INCREASE IN JOBS. CONSEQUENTLY, BOTH OF THEM WRE AT SAME POSITION OF 15 MILLION JOBS AND REMAIN STEADY. AT THE END, AGRICULTURE WAS SAW ON SAME POSITION WHERE RETAIL SECTOR STARTS IN 1960. NEVERTHELESS, IT WENT TO DOWNWARD DIRECTION AND REMAIN STABLE OVER THE TIMEFRAME OF 1980 TO 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that retail and healthcare 'remained the most jobs' and 'were at same position of 15 million', which does not accurately reflect the visual data provided in the graph. To improve, ensure that your specific data points (years and figures) are precisely aligned with the graph to avoid misrepresenting the information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'furthermore', 'conversely', and 'consequently' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For instance, the phrase 'Looking at the line chart in deeply' is non-standard. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that the progression of ideas between sentences is smoother and less repetitive.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'significant growth', and 'dramatic plunge'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'DIFFERENR', 'OPPURTUNITIES', 'GRADUALL') and some word choice issues, such as 'remained the most jobs' instead of 'had the most jobs'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the frequency of spelling and collocation errors limits your score. Focusing on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and learning standard collocations for describing trends will help improve your lexical range and accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Manufacturing begins with enormous occupations' (subject-verb agreement/tense inconsistency), 'Agriculture was saw on same position' (incorrect passive voice construction), and 'both of them wre at same position'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not fully impede communication. To improve, work on consistent verb tense usage—especially when describing historical data—and ensure correct article usage (e.g., 'the retail sector').
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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