Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE MULTI LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES DATA ABOUT THE NUMBER OF OCCUPATIONS IN FOUR DIFFERENT ECONOMIC SECTORS IN THE UNITED STATE OF AMERICA, OVER A PERIOD OF 60 YEARS, FROM 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL, THE MANUFACTURING BEGAN WITH ENORMOUS OCCUPATIONS AND REACHED A HIGH; HOWEVER, AFTER SOME FLUCTUATION IT WENT DOWN. THE RETAIL REMAINED THE MOST JOBS IN THE US ECONOMY. FURTHERMORE, HEALTHCARE SECTOR EXPERIENCED THE MOST SIGNIFICANT GROWTH, WHILE, AGRICULTURE WAS THE ONLY SECTOR THAT SAW A DECLINE IN OPPORTUNITIES.
LOOKING AT THE LINE CHART IN DETAIL, MANUFACTURING START WITH 15 MILLION JOBS IN 1960. FOLLOWED BY HIT A PEAK WITH 20 MILLION OPPORTUNITIES IN 1980. WITH THE PASSAGE OF TIME, IT SAW A DRAMATIC PLUNGE IN JOBS, APPROXIMATELY 13 MILLION BY THE END. CONVERSELY, RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE BEGAN WITH APPROXIMATELY 5 AND 2 MILLIONS OF JOBS RESPECTIVELY. MOREOVER, THESE WERE ONLY SECTORS THAT SAW A GRADUAL INCREASE IN JOBS. CONSEQUENTLY, BOTH OF THEM WRE AT SAME POSITION OF 15 MILLION JOBS AND REMAIN STEADY. AT THE END, AGRICULTURE WAS SAW ON SAME POSITION WHERE RETAIL SECTOR STARTED IN 1960. NEVERTHELESS, IT WENT TO DOWNWARD DIRECTION AND REMAIN STABLE OVER THE TIMEFRAME OF 1980 TO 2020.
KITNY BAND A SAKTY OR ISKO POLISH KAISY KRO OR KONSY RULES HAIN JO MAINAE TORY HAIN
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that retail remained the highest sector is not supported by the data, and the description of the manufacturing trend is somewhat confusing. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. The inclusion of personal questions at the end is inappropriate for an academic task and should be avoided in the future.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'conversely', 'furthermore', and 'consequently' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'consequently' used to introduce a statement about retail and healthcare. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing of data points could be smoother to ensure the reader follows the trends without difficulty.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at topic-specific language like 'economic sectors', 'fluctuation', and 'dramatic plunge'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'enormous occupations' instead of 'high employment' and 'went to downward direction'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the vocabulary lacks the precision required for a higher band. Spelling is generally accurate, but the overall control of lexical items is limited.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'Manufacturing start with' (subject-verb agreement), 'these were only sectors' (missing article), and 'Agriculture was saw' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels clunky. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency and clarity of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.