Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the economy in the US in four different job sectors of manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and agriculture have the most jobs in 2020 followed by manufacturing and healthcare. A change of incline and decline is noted in the year 1980 in all corporate sectors.
In 1960, retail and healthcare had same amount of jobs i.e. 6 millions but they both have a huge contrast in the following years where the retail jobs soared up by 7-10 millions each 2 decades and had a stable growth from the year 2000 to 2020 and jobs in healthcare declined dramatically by the year 1980 at 3 millions which was then maintained in the year 2000 and had a slight downfall of 2 millions till 2020.
Jobs in manufacturing and agriculture stood on different spectrum of the graph where the jobs in manufacturing was the greatest at 15 millions and the jobs in agricultural sector was the lowest at 3 millions in 1960. Agricultural occupation had a drastic incline of approximately 10 millions by each 2 decades and by 2020 it was the highest jobs at 16 millions. Unlike agriculture, manufacturing also had a 10 million growth in first 20 years but had a sharp fall of almost 10 millions in the next following 20 years till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, the data interpretation is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For example, stating that retail and agriculture had the 'most jobs in 2020' is not supported by the graph, and the claim that healthcare 'declined dramatically' by 1980 is inaccurate based on the visual data. While the response attempts to report main features, the lack of precision in reading the data points hinders the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure that the data reported matches the visual information provided in the graph exactly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Unlike agriculture' and 'In 1960', but the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical. The logical progression is occasionally disrupted by the inaccurate data reporting, which makes the comparisons difficult to follow. Paragraphing is used, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to better link the trends described. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a clear thematic grouping would improve the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with attempts to use descriptive language like 'soared up', 'dramatically', and 'drastic incline'. However, there are issues with collocation and precision, such as 'change of incline and decline' and 'stood on different spectrum of the graph'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural or imprecise. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that the vocabulary used to describe trends is accurate and contextually appropriate for a formal report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'retail and healthcare had same amount' (missing article), 'jobs in manufacturing was' (subject-verb agreement), and 'in first 20 years' (missing article). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as well as ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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