Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the scenario of job market in the US among 4 sectors of the economy, which include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, & healthcare, from 1960 to 2020.
Manufacturing slope goes substantially up from 1960 to 1980 first, with an exceptional increase from 15 to 20 million jobs. Then gradually comes downwards & in 2020 remains between 10-15 million jobs.
The retail slope shows exponential growth from 1960 to 2020. Retail sector boomed consistently. Slope gets to its peak in 2020 starting from around 5 million jobs in 1960 to more than 15 million jobs in the latter.
However, Agriculture sector declined tremendously. Slope for the agiculture, falls from around 5 million jobs in 1960 to somewhere around 2.5 million in 2020.
Lastly, the slope for healthcare showed significant steepness from 1960 to 2020, highlighting the increment in jobs from around 2.5 million to more than 15 million jobs.
The graph perfectly elaborates how the US market faced disturbance in the market in the Agriculture sector mainly, & how the other three areas have been industriously growing from 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the description of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate, as the graph shows a peak around 1980 followed by a decline, but the student's summary of the final data point is vague. Additionally, the overview is weak; it describes the market as having 'disturbance' and 'industriously growing,' which is not an analytical summary of the data trends. To reach a higher band, you should provide a clearer overview that highlights the most significant changes across the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. Each paragraph focuses on a specific sector, which is a logical approach. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'The... slope...'). There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect the ideas between paragraphs or to contrast the trends effectively. While the progression is generally clear, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely heavily on the word 'slope' to describe the data lines, which is repetitive and slightly unnatural in this context. Phrases like 'boomed consistently' and 'significant steepness' are acceptable but could be more academic. There are also minor issues with word choice, such as 'scenario of job market' and 'industriously growing,' which do not fit the formal tone of an Academic Task 1 report. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'Manufacturing slope goes substantially up' lacks an article, and 'among 4 sectors' should be 'across four sectors.' There are also issues with punctuation, such as the unnecessary use of the ampersand (&) and inconsistent capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these minor errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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