Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph demonstrates the key information about number of occupations in four different groups of economy in the United State respectively from 1960 to 2020. overall, it is observing from graph that from 1960 to 1980 the manufacturing sector is on top from other sectors
In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector is about 15 million whiles in retail sector the number of jobs is about 5.5 million. The number of jobs in agriculture sector is also about 5.5 million. On the other hand, the number of jobs in health sector is almost about 3 million.
In 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector is at maximum level approximately 20 million. The number of jobs in retail sector is about 15 million. On the other hands, the number of jobs in agriculture sector is about 4 million and the number of jobs in healthcare sector is about 5 million.
In 2000 and 2020, the numbers of jobs in manufacture sector are respectively16 million and 13.5 million. the numbers of jobs in retail sector are 15 million in 2000 and 15.5 million in 2020. The numbers of jobs in agriculture sector are 3 million in 2000 and 2.5 million in 2020. The numbers of jobs in health care sector are about 11 million in 2000 and 15 million in 2020.
Overall, it is observed that number of jobs in healthcare sector are at top in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the requested years. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, such as the dramatic shift from manufacturing to healthcare. The report is essentially a list of data points for each year rather than a synthesis of the main features. To improve, you should group the information by trends (e.g., sectors that grew vs. those that declined) rather than listing every year chronologically. This would allow for better comparisons and a more analytical approach, which is essential for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the chronological structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is repetitive and mechanical. Phrases like 'The number of jobs in... is about...' are used in almost every sentence, making the text feel like a list rather than a cohesive report. There is a lack of variety in linking words, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'in contrast,' 'subsequently,' or 'while,' and vary your sentence structures to improve the flow of information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely heavily on basic phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'about'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'groups of economy' instead of 'economic sectors'. The repetition of the same sentence structure limits your ability to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for 'increase' or 'decrease' (e.g., 'fluctuated,' 'surpassed,' 'declined steadily') and use more precise terminology to describe the data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and articles. For example, you use the present tense ('is') to describe historical data from 1960, which should be in the past tense. There are also errors with subject-verb agreement ('number of jobs... are') and missing articles ('in manufacturing sector'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Focus on ensuring your tenses are consistent with the timeframe of the data and pay closer attention to basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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