Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph gives the information about count of Occupation in Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare wealth in the United States in 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clearly seen that the number of jobs was highest in manufacturing sector whereas the count of occupation was lowest in agriculture sector.
In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 millions and the count of occupation in retail and agriculture was almost similar around 5 millions. After, in healthcare sector jobs was lower around only 2 millions. In 1980, the manufacturing occupation was higher over the period 20 millions. The retail jobs accounted was 10 millions in the same year. The number of jobs in healthcare were highest as compared to agriculture.
In 2000, the count of occupation was decreased in manufacturing sector. The retail and healthcare jobs accounted were 10 to 15 millions in the same year. In healthcare sector jobs were declined in 2000. In 2020, the number of jobs in manufacturing were declined. The occupation was accounted from retail and healthcare around 15 millions. In 2020, the jobs in agriculture was lowest over the years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the analysis is inconsistent and lacks precision. For instance, the description of the data in 2000 and 2020 is confusing and inaccurate, failing to clearly contrast the sectors. The overview is present but lacks detail regarding the specific trends (e.g., the growth of healthcare). To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the comparison between sectors is logical and easy to follow. The report would benefit from a more structured approach to highlighting the most significant changes over the sixty-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In [year]'. There is a lack of variety in linking words, and the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition between the 1980 data and the 2000 data is abrupt. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly, ensuring that the relationship between the data points is clearly established.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying heavily on phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'count of occupation'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'healthcare wealth' (which is incorrect) and 'jobs accounted were'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more varied terminology related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a downward trend', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same nouns and verbs throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs was lower', 'jobs in agriculture was'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the manufacturing occupation was higher over the period 20 millions'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that numerical data is integrated into sentences with correct grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.