Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows the comparison of jobs in four sectors in span of mid 20th century and almost first quarter of 21st century the jobs in manufacturing sectory, rose in first 10 years and later it started fell gradualy during this span. Interestingly, jobs in retail setting were continuosly rising and in agricultural area it started to climb slowly but in the end of span rose speedly while talking about healthcare sectors surprisingly decrease pattern through all the years can easily be observed. It clearly depicts the importance of retail and agricultural area and how these areas were making process at that time and while talking about manufacturing area a shocking fall can be seen after 1970s and it still keep decreasing and most surprising for me especially the continuous and steady decrease in healthcare jobs in all over the US through these years which graph shows us clealry.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the graph, but it fails to provide a clear overview or highlight the most significant trends effectively. While it mentions all four sectors, the description of the data is inaccurate in several places (e.g., claiming a decrease in healthcare jobs, which contradicts typical data for this sector). The report lacks a clear structure, such as an introduction or a distinct overview paragraph, and the analysis is overly subjective, using phrases like 'shocking fall' or 'most surprising for me,' which are inappropriate for an academic report. To improve, you must focus on objective reporting of the data and ensure that your summary highlights the main features rather than personal reactions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is written as a single, dense paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of logical progression between ideas, and the use of cohesive devices is very limited. Phrases like 'while talking about' are used repetitively and mechanically to transition between points, which does not create a natural flow. The lack of paragraphing and the absence of clear signposting make the text feel disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you should organize your report into clear paragraphs—typically an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs—and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences and ideas logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors, such as 'sectory', 'gradualy', 'continuosly', 'speedly', and 'clealry'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for example, 'rose speedly' is not standard academic English. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'rose' and 'decrease' without using more precise collocations such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary for describing graphs and ensure you proofread your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and missing punctuation, which make the text difficult to parse. For example, the opening sentence is a long, unpunctuated string of clauses. There are also errors in verb tense consistency and article usage (e.g., 'in span of mid 20th century'). The range of grammatical structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple or poorly connected clauses. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and using commas to separate clauses correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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